What a day. The title of this blog is after a song I heard today, which now has gotten stuck in my head throughout the whole day. It is a Viet pop song, a genre I rarely ever go by in my music listening, but this song has gotten me started on a mission to listen to more Vietnamese songs, not only to better my Vietnamese, but just for the fact that the music itself is beautiful and refreshing. The song is about what it means to be a Vietnamese person and the beauty of the country. The problem for me, as well as for all Asian-Americans, is figuring out the distance I draw between myself and my roots. I think I may be getting closer to an answer.
Noticing the clatter outside of my room this morning, I decided to get up at around six in the morning, knowing that I needed to finally wash all of my dirty clothes, which summed up to about five sets of clothes. I marched over to the bathroom, brushed my teeth with some of my special chrysanthemum toothpaste (I've seen a lot of this around), and grabbed the washing bucket, brush, and soap. After I grabbed all of my slightly damp laundry (eww... right?) and took it down to the wash room. As I hummed and washed my clothes, my father called in, checking in to see how I was doing and asking me about things have been progressing these last two weeks (its still bothering me that its only been two weeks!). I've been meaning to talk to him about my two half-sisters, Qinh and Lin, knowing that he still cares very much for them and wants me to go visit them at one point and also see the house that he bought in Nha Trang. "So do you really want to go? It may be a little out of your way in terms of your obligations to the center" he asked me. "Yeah, I know, but I want to go. I'll work it out" I replied. And so we talked some more about what a trip would mean for me, and then my dad had to take another call. As I am writing this, I am waiting my parents' call from the U.S. wishing me happy birthday, which is in about two hours and fifteen minutes as I am writing this.
After hanging all my clothes, staring out at the cloudy sky, I ambled back into the house and prepared for breakfast. Today's concoction was pasta soup with hot dogs and Vietnamese sausauge. Again my host mother was trying to spoil me again... I quickly inhaled my food, noticing I had about ten minutes to get ready for my class to teach my morning class for the remaining university students in the center, which expectedly was just one student. Many of the university students were either extremely busy or had already headed back to their hometowns for a two week break. My student today was Dao, an rising junior at the Hue University of Sciences, studying what I make to be cultural studies, a far cry from her previous ideas of being a math professor. And so I began my lesson.
She was a very hard working student, hoping to score well on her IEFL exam, an exam testing English proficiency. She graduated as the valedictorian of her high school, placing very high into college and hoping to travel to other countries to do what she tells me is a "research project comparing Eastern and Western cultures." Similar to what I am doing now? Hmm... Yes it is, but I figure the research comes with having real life experience in my country and directly interacting with my culture. Anyways, we went over grammar and prepositions, something that I notice many of the university students still having trouble with, as many of their English professors even, have taught them incorrectly. "I had to, at one point, study English through foreigners because my English teacher was so bad" Dao told me. Her English was fluent enough for conversation and she understood everything I told her. Her only issue was on the grammar and the pronunciation - things that I will be able to mend before her test in two months. Seeing her work so hard to open doors for herself oversees just constantly reminds me of how lucky I am to live in a country where it does not matter how rich you are, as there are plenty of opportunities to find yourself within another culture overseas (just like this one right here!). I ended class a little early, as she had some other work to tend to, and went back to the house, waving at Michael walking by me (the visitor from France).
Usually after each class, I take a five minute break to plummet into my bed and turn on the fan to relax. Despite the cloudy forecast, the humidity is still sapping my body of energy, not to mention my lack of sleep. No worries. Two cups of water and this little break later, I went out into the dining room to surf the web and skype some friends from back home. Michael and Ms. Minh were touring the site once more, Ms. Minh (who is remarkably fluent in French) talked with Michael about the site, since this was Michael's first visit to this particular center. They had plans to do some filming here tomorrow as a way of showing the progress of the site and also the way of life for the orphans here. They even want to film my birthday party tomorrow (hmm... lots of planning still to do...). Michael once again joined us for a meal, this time being a feast for both me and Michael, as my host mother went out to do a little extra shopping for us, expecting Michael to join us.
Such a friendly and experienced middle-aged man Michael is. We talked for over an hour at the dinner table, just me and him, as my brothers talked amongst themselves while they ate their food. We actually had a bit of a treat this lunch - french pastries (chocolate filled!). Michael's facial expression when he ate the homemade pastries made on site was one of absolute satisfaction, as he said to me "nothing beats homemade passion." He told me of the history of the French in Vietnam, and his impression of the Vietnamese people. "This culture is tough, surviving more than 1,000 years of Chinese rule, and the influence of many other nations including France" he said, "the poor work tirelessly to send their children into higher education, as is the way of most Confucian societies." I agreed, and let him continue. He told me about a famous French doctor that accomplished many miraculous deeds in Vietnam, leading his name to still mark some of locations Vietnam (most of the foreign names in Vietnam were torn off when the current Vietnamese government gained full control of the country). Again I forget another name... No worries I guess, I'll ask him tomorrow!
"Oh, I am so full and need a nap now" Michael said, "it was a pleasure." I waved him off and did exactly the same.
Waking up about an hour later, I prepped for my class for the middle schoolers.
After waiting about ten minutes in the classroom, waiting for the students, I noticed that no one came - none of the eight students that regularly came. Did I scare them off or something? I marched down to their house and found that they were either still napping or had just woken up. Maybe I should change the class time to allow them to sleep more? Eventually all of them came and we began class. In some ways, I feel that I am starting to grow a bit of a dependency of using my textbooks to teach Vietnamese, something that I was a little hesitant to do in the beginning. I do want to mix it up, so hopefully this weekend I will have more free time to mix it up. After a rather long class, we all headed back to take on the rest of the day, filled with play, of course.
This evening seethed with events. I went from soccer, to watching fishing at the pond, to exercising, to riding bikes up and down the center (using the hill at the top of my house to speed down to the entrance of the site), to gardening, to eating a meal with the Hong family and my uncle, to now, thinking over this whole day. Going back to the title of this passage, "My Home," I've been thinking a bit more about where I find myself. Perhaps a quirky way of imagining how I feel is through an image I saw today - a grasshopper on a hook, being snatched by a fish, the fish being hooked, and pulled up onto to land, while the fisherman cheers in pleasure. Quite an image right? I am all of those things. The grasshopper represents my Vietnamese roots, internal to me forever and still a center of who I am. On the outside, the carnivorous fish represents my American roots (hahaha), which constitutes much of who I am, as I have grown nearly my whole life in America, though I did have quite of a bit of exposure to Vietnamese culture at home. I cannot deny my American upbringing, just as I cannot deny my Vietnamese ancestry. The hook and contact between the Vietnamese and American influences represents the relationship I feel between the two, one I see as inseperable and at times, painful to think over. The last part, the happy fisherman with his catch, represents... the future? Maybe it represents a future where I have reconcialed my past with the present, along with a mastery of my roots and also my American culture (which I find hard to define as it is). Maybe... I will have to think this through.
Its nearing my bedtime so this is the end of this piece. Time to look forward to my birthday, especially it being in Vietnam, and a get nights rest (fingers crossed). Wish me luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment