So after frantically packing all my luggage (two suitcases totally 100 lbs. each, as well as a backpack and a laptop bag) and making it over to San Francisco for a red eye flight, I finally stepped onto the plane after a heartfelt goodbye to my mother, father, and my grandparents on my mother's side. I had finally made it. Yet I still have not felt it hit me yet. I am finally returning to the place where my ancestry lies! I finally get to see all my family members again and I finally get to better understand the culture that my family is from! Its been over ten, nearly eleven years since I have returned to Vietnam and I know it will not be the same at all. My country has changed - and so have I.
It was in third grade that I last went, that time with my mother, uncle, and little brother, who is now 15. I was 8 at the time and I had all these fanciful ideas of how Vietnam would be like. Being still a child, I thought of how much fun I would have and all the "cool" adventures that awaited me. The adventures did indeed come. My family is from a coastal village in central Vietnam known as "Hai Nhuan" near the city of Hue, where I will be flying to in 20 minutes as I am typing this! Thousands of villagers have lived there over many generations and still raise their families there. The first part of this adventure came in the way of getting swarmed by countless family members awaiting me at the airport (I remember there being over forty people just to greet me, my mother, uncle, and little brother). I was caught a little off guard as I did not expect us to be treated with such welcome, but I quickly accepted it!
As I rode from Hue Airport over to my home village I was given so many different foods and gifts. I remember us singing and talking for a long long time as we rode on the bumpy and rocky road over to the village. When I finally arrived, I again, was hit with even more surprises! Hundreds of people came. They all stared at us, talking amongst themselves, and smiling. I have never truly understood or have been able understand why I was so important to them until now, having changed into a much more reflective and understanding individual.
It is nearly ten minutes before I board the plane to enter Vietnam and I must say that I have so many emotions going through me. Anxiety, happiness, sadness, stress, everything! My dad told me that the village has much in store for me. He expects there to be a similar amount of people if not more to come welcome me. On our drive over to San Francisco International, he told me "you are regarded as like a king over there you know?" This statement made me laugh as I don't regard myself more than just a person who cares about people, but the idea of having been treated like one piques my curiosity and warms my heart over the kindness of many of the individuals from my village that I: A. do not remember or B. have never met in my life. That said, I await my arrival to Vietnam and ultimately meeting my people once more!
What is to be said is that returning to my home village is not the primary objective of my trip. I am entrusted upon fulfilling my fellowship from my college by interning at an orphanage about an hour away from my home village. Did I select this place to intern at because of its proximity to my Hai Nhuan? Certainly. But this is a trip that I have longed for and know that my heart has yearned to return and give back to the Vietnamese people. I tell my life's story constantly to all my friends that I meet frequently. It is what grounds me to who I am. Having not known of the sacrifices of my family to bring me to America, and also stay alive and well, I grew up in the dark as an aspiring American citizen. Now, my parents I revealed more of the truth for me and I must say that my life has been changed forever. My love for America and my love for Vietnam can only be channeled through my own compassion for human beings for I have been given unprecedented amount of support to not only be at a college in America, but to still be breathing and living an enriching life.
I feel sorry for my people. But I know that feeling sorry will not change anything. I look at the faces of the orphans and villagers and I can see myself amongst them. Had my family not been lucky enough to escape to dreaded refugee camp, I would have either died from a lung infection or have been living a stressful life as a weak and decrepit boy. I cannot say it enough that I am one of the luckiest people in the world. I say that not to brag, but to truly show my gratitude, not just to my family or the doctors that performed lung surgery on me, but to humanity. I am the product of kindness, something that I never truly grasped growing up.
I know now and I am returning with these thoughts. Coming back I bring more than just gifts and teachings, but I bring my heart - something that I neglected growing up. That said, I AM REALLY EXCITED TO BE BACK! I am about to board my plane... so look forward to the next post (with photos I hope!)!
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