It seems that every week, my family tree grows and grows. Coming back to Vietnam, getting in contact with so many relatives has been refreshing and eye opening, revealing to me the truth of the Vietnamese family, the remnants of the older generation. It also reminds of how important it is not only to know the language, but having a desire to want to understand the will and traditions of the older generation, as living so far away often blinds the new generation from understanding their roots. This Thursday, I met some very interesting family members, many of which for the first time in my life. My goodness, I learned so much.
That morning, it was another one of the swimming days with the children, our last one before the start of the school year for many of the younger children. To celebrate the end of this summer, many of us decided to go, totaling over thirty individuals. Min did decide to sleep over the other night, now seemingly a new member of my room. Again, my uncle was busy this morning, causing me to have to run down and ask for the gardener, Bac Hung, to take me over with his son to the swimming center. Being heading off, I went over to the bakery school to ask my older brothers some breakfast. I was handed an enormous, freshly baked French baguette, and also a bowl of eggs, ham, and herbs to stuff the baguette with. Yum! I went to my room and grabbed one of my gigantic plastic water bottles and ran on down to meet the children, who were already about to leave.
It was cloudy today, which meant that the pool would end being cold, just like it was the other day. On the ride over, as long as it did feel as Bac Hung takes a different route to the swim center, I thought over my lesson today with the children, wondering what could I teach the junior high students that would be most effective. Upon reaching the center, I hopped off the motorbike and sat on one of the hammocks near the parking lot, swaying back and forth, until my brothers and sisters on their bikes came over. We walked in together, huddling in front of the entrance and playing around with one another.
Another peaceful and enjoyable day at the pool. I have gotten much better at swimming thus far, able to swim in different strokes now and working on teaching the children who can't swim the right methods. There were no more fights anymore, just plain old fun, lots of splashing, racing, and play. Every now and then I would joke with the children that I was drowning and needed them to save me, though, most of the time none of them believed me. The whistle blew within fifteen minutes of the end of our swim time, causing nearly all the children to hop out of the pool and run down to the showers.
I took a deep breath and swam one last lap, pulling myself out of the pool and running down with them.
On the way back with Bac Hung once again, he took us out on the same odd route he always takes me on, giving me diverse and beautiful look at the ward of Thuy Xuan in Hue. Upon pulling into the center, I walked on up to my room to relax, doing my laundry and mopping up my room, which had smelled from all of the children and the dog running around the floor. About an hour later, I walked on down, hungry and tired, but even more hungry. To my surprise they had a bag of about twenty old baguettes from the brothers at the baking school, and so we had to split them up amongst the house and eat them. Upon entering the house, most of the children greeted me, shouting "Ben, are you hungry yet!?" I went off into the kitchen, seeing Hop, Dao, and Tuy finishing up with cooking lunch. "Long time no see Tuy!" I told her, as she stir-fried the veggies for lunch. She only let out a small style, and on her face I could see sadness. I walked back to my little red table where I normally sat with the younger children of the house. The children served out all the food, Tuy picking me up from my chair and taking my seat, saying not a single word. It was a delicious lunch, but what struck me was Tuy sadness over... something... I tried to talk with her, asking about her day, and when she would go back to school. She only gave flat responses and eventually teared up and went back to her room after only one bowl of rice (which is extremely little). The children starred at me, trying to also figure out why Tuy was sad. I finished up the meal and walked over to the sink to place my bowl. Eventually Tuy walked up behind me, getting ready to wash the plates. "So why the long face? What's troubling you?" I asked her. "Nothing, I'm just tired" she said, getting straight to work. "Well, don't be sad because you'll make me even sadder, cheer up" I said to her, patting her on the back and walking out towards the entrance of the house. We finished up cleaning the mess from lunch and the children gave me a slice of jackfruit to bring up to my room, Phe and Phi rejoining me once again up to my room to nap.
The hour after the nap, and also until my class with the university students and the junior high students was a storm of a planning session. I wrote quickly, jotting down notes vigorously as I thought of examples to teach pronunciation of vowels and vowel combinations in English, something that the children need much help in. Since reading out loud is something the children are not experienced in, I took the time to plan out a full two hours session firmly in speaking and pronunciation.
Goodness this was a brilliant idea, as the children got so much confidence in themselves to be able to read any way I wrote in front of him. If only I could find away to teach this to the Vietnamese public high school students who also need this kind of the teaching. When the time came for class to be over, I made a quick stop to the local snack store and bought some sweets for all the children at the center. The reason is because the following day was the wedding of my aunt Danh's son, Thong. I was invited and practically required to go. Thus, to celebrate the day before the wedding, I went to go visit the hotel where my Aunt Yen from Australia lived (my brother's little sister). After about an hour of relaxing back in my room, I called a taxi to take me over to the "Gold 2 Hotel."
What a feeling it was to finally see her atop the top floor of the hotel. There was a power outage, so Aunt Yen and many of my family members came over to see her, my grandfather included. She was excited to see me, saving a seat just for me and wanting to talk to me for so long. This is the first time I have ever seen her in my life. A little history about her, she made the trip to Hong Kong with my parents in 1991, making it successfully to the country of Australia, along with her older sister and my other aunt, Aunt Ha, or Ao Ha.To say the least, she was well off, sporting many valuable jewelry items on herself, four rings in one hand, a bracelet and a necklace, all top quality items. She owns a farm in Australia that does very well, her starting the business many many years ago and worked her way up to the top. She had a big smile on her face, getting up to hug me and asking me about my life thus far. And so I let her know, my feelings about my family, my return home, and my plans for my future. My grandfather and the other family members sat there, listening to us both talk to one another. Aunt Yen was respected on one sided of the family, and had familial problems with the other, to which I now know, and even get a headache over when I think about how trivial some of the arguments are. Anyways, she spoke with me for that hour or so, giving some money for my birthday she couldn't come to, and invited me to stay the night and spend the day with her and her family (her son Ken and recently born baby girl named Sierra had come as well).
Boy was the hotel crowded in that 303 room, about ten people inside there. At first, I set down all my things, played with the children (three babies from three different mothers were there) and relaxed, getting to know my Aunt and my other family members from my paternal grandfather's side, knowned as Noi in Vietnamese. Eventually they invited me out to eat at a vegetarian restaurant with them, my many aunts taking me there. What a crazy day that ensued after that meal.
My cousin Thong was about to marry a girl from Australia, as I mentioned above. The wedding was scheduled for the following day, and so he came up with us in this room to see my Aunt Yen. His opportunity to go to Australia is partially due to the connection of Aunt Yen with the family of the girl he is marrying, named Thuy, who lives in Australia. He brought me out for coffee, taking one of the son's of one of my aunts along. We sat outside the Perfume River at a cafe, me sipping coconut juice and eating chocolate flavored cookies resembling Oreos. I talked to Thong about his feelings about marriage, and said that his marriage to an foreigner is going to open doors for him, giving him the opportunity to make good money to send back to help his family in Vietnam. Hmm... this seems to be similar to someone that I know... Before this, Thong graduated as an telecommunications engineer from Da Nang University of Engineering, working for a short while, and eventually finding this girl from Australia. We talked for a long time in that cafe, me telling him about my philosophy about Vietnam and service for mankind. He was impressed, telling me that I should keep doing my best with my opportunities in America. We eventually had to leave, going to go pick up my Aunt Ha's son, Nhat, a twenty four year old middle son in the family.
Well, I can say that it had been a long time sense I had met someone with the audacious character like Nhat. He had a thick Australian accent, just like Ken (Aunt Yen's son), and had quite the ego. Let's just say he is rich, very rich, saying to me that he spent more than a thousand dollars in one day alone in Saigon, where he has been residing in for the last month. "I have a year off college to do whatever I want, and I want to travel" he told me. He was hungry, telling us to stop by a nearby restaurant to eat and chat. We went to a restaurant specializing in goat, eating some delicious offerings of goat and chatting amongst ourselves. It was, to say the least, interesting to hear Nhat talk about his experience in Saigon thus far, telling us that "Saigon has everything, you just need the money." He went on that whole ride back about himself, talking about how much money he left back in Saigon and how much he can get in an instant after a phone call to his mother. What a character...
We eventually joined back with the hotel, everyone greeting one another and Nhat into checking a separate room with me for the night. During the night when we got back, I opened Skype for my mother, brother, and father to see Aunt Yen and the rest of us. They were so happy to see one another, my dad with a bright smile on his face. We talked for the next hour, talking about everything, family issues, successes, and jokes. I at last returned to my room with Nhat, who was not home yet at the time and typed into the night. Nhat did finally return, telling me he just got back after hanging out with "the guys" for the night.
Well, we talked for a long time into the night. I got a really good idea of the guy Nhat was, his lifestyle, and his woes sometimes about his lack of direction. He did want to graduate with a college degree, which is to be in Forensic Psychology at the moment, though he doesn't know where he wants to go with it. He talked a lot about how easy life was in Australia, saying that everything is "basically handed to me." Though I know the living standards in Australia is among the highest in the world, I still need to see it myself to confirm, though Nhat said he would pay for me to come over anytime I would like. "You know Ben, if your father had chosen to come to Australia instead of the U.S., he would be rich by now" he told me, staring me straight in my eyes. I looked at him for a second, and then looked away. Part of me thought of that possible reality, but another part thought of how rich we already are, the richness that my family shares in its sense of compassion and duty to helping others, something that I now realize runs in the blood of my parents and me. That very essence is what makes us live without desire for anything more than a peaceful relationship with our friends and family. We talked a little bit further, him asking me many questions about America and my feelings on the economy, telling me more and more about how easy life is in Australia. "What if...?" I thought once again, once I told him good night. "No... you aren't missing out on anything" I continued in my head, "a heart of gold and understanding is perhaps more priceless than all the dreams and riches I could ever desire." And it is true. Money changes you, even Nhat said it himself, once being poor, but now living the fast and rich life. I know undoubtedly that it would have changed the outcome of the person I now am today, perhaps for the worst.
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